February, 2004

February 1, 2004

Today's Deskinned Yet Horrifying Morbid Fact!

A 27-year-old custodian was sucked into a large machine used to skin animals at a Danish slaughterhouse. The 27-year-old was cleaning the machines at the Danish Crown Slaughterhouse in Sæby when he was caught by one of the rollers and mowed into the so-called deskinning machine. According to the paper Extra Bladet, he was pulled through the massive machines a couple of times before a colleague heard the noise and managed to turn off the machines. He was serious injured, and he was immediately taken to the hospital in Aalborg. “It’s not life threatening, but he has been seriously injured,” said Otto Jystrup at the Directorate of Labor Inspection in Aalborg. “There are a lot to patch together.” “The machine resembles a carwash, where brushes moves back and forth over the surface while rotating, but there the brushes consists of small metal plates which scrape off the bristle of the pigs,” Jystrup said. The 27-year-old, who is of Afghani descent, has an open cranium fracture, pelvis fracture, and several bone fractures, in addition to many large wounds.

Culled from: Nettavisen
http://pub.tv2.no/nettavisen/english/article179334.ece
Generously submitted by: Tiffany

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Of course, I have three words to say to this guy: SERVES YOU RIGHT! Karma, baby...

I'm sad to report that I'm being called out of town for business until Thursday. I'm traveling to Plano, Texas - oh, come now, there's no need to be jealous! ;-)

In any event, I won't be able to send any facts out while I'm gone, but I will be back in full force on Friday.

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Morbid Caption Contest!

Okay, I'm a day later than I hoped I'd be, but I've decided that instead of ME picking the winner or the finalists this time, I'm going to make this a truly democratic affair. Every few days I will submit 10 candidates to the polls. Vote on your favorite candidates and the top two advance to the semi-finals, where they will battle it out for victory! Yeah, I know, there's a risk that one of you might get all your friends to vote for yours, thus ensuring victory, but keep in mind that the prize isn't really very nice, so you should probably save your energy for something else. ;-)

First of all, let's refresh everyone's memory on the fact that inspired this contest (from January 6th):

A dog has eaten up the genitals of a one-year-old baby boy who is recovering from circumcision in Guyuk Local Government Area of Adamawa. Narrating the incident which took place this week, the baby’s father, Mr Amos Mamman, said he had got the dog from a distant village and brought it home. After he had gone to the farm, his wife laid her newly circumcised baby in the room and engaged herself with routine domestic chores until she heard the baby’s unusual cry. As she dashed to the room, she found the small dog feasting on the baby’s penis, while one of his testes was already gone. "The baby was naked on medical advice as he was newly circumcised and could not wear a nappy," the father explained. He said the dog might have been attracted by the oily medicine applied to the penis and mistook the genitals for prepared meat. The boy, who lost his manhood and has since been admitted at the Federal Medical Centre in Yola,is now responding to treatment. The father appealed to the government and wealthy individuals to help save the life of his son who, he said, needed further medical attention "as he is having difficulty in urinating". The News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) reports that the Nunguda people in Guyuk are well known for their passion for dogs.

And here are your first 10 nominees!

1) KNICK-NACK PADDY WACK......GIVE A DOG A BONE?!

2) "Hot Dog Devours Miniature Sausage."

3) "Snausages!"

4) Not only was this dog mean...it was bad to the BONE!!

5) A mere couple of thousand miles to the East they have a passion for dogs, too...boiled, fried, or roasted.

6) Howard Cosell here folks…

Live in the great country of Africa…

What we are witnessing here today folks is a true moment in history…what we about to see is the ongoing war of man vs. dog…

Once again, we have here…in the right corner, the Reigning Champion, Heinz 57, weighing in at a whopping 22lbs and being the oldest champion in the competition, at the ripe old age of 8, who will now meet his challenger… weighing in at a hefty 5.8lbs, the one year old son of Amos Mamman… (aAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhh)

Ding Ding…

The fight is on…

We have 57 jumping toward the torso, OOOOHHH, what a blow to Lil Amos….and Amos comes back with a good right leg kick…57 seems to not even notice…57 comes back with a ….ooooohhhhhh…growl and bite to the neck…can I get a playback on that? Is that really legal in this game? OK…here is the official playback from the officials…growl and bite to the neck…no cry…first down…. 57…

Amos tries to bite 57 and reach for the SpongeBob SquarePants…oOOOOOOhhhhhh….he doesn’t make it?…lookie here…57 has taken control of the diaper…OOOHHHH NOOOO…57 has ripped the cotton nappy from his bottom…Amos’ coach did not tell us that Amos was suffering such an extensive injury…oooooooooooohhhh…that doesn’t look good for Amos…his wanger is all out of control…57 is going in for the prepared meat…he bites…..HE SCORES……the crowd goes wild…

7) "Better than Snausages"

8) A different sort of entry: http://asylumeclectica.com/asylum/1478.jpg

9) It's... eh, was a boy!

10) As dog is licking it's lips: "It's ok, I had subway!".


February 8, 2004

Today's Well-preserved Yet Horrifying Morbid Fact!


The most perfect examples of bodily preservation are the 'Bog People' of northern Europe. These people, most dying around the time of Christ, have been remarkably preserved in the unique chemical conditions found in peat bogs. Two of the most famous of the Bog People are Tollund Man and Grauballe Man, both discovered in Denmark after World War II. So well preserved is Tollund Man that his facial expression makes him appear merely asleep. His serenity belies the fact that a rope is tied tightly around his neck and was obviously the cuase of his death. He was found naked apart from a cap, lying on his side, his knees flexed upon his abdomen. Grauballe Man had also met with a violent end: his thraot was cut so deeply that the laceration had severed the gullet. Most experts believe that the bog bodies represent human sacrifices to the fertility goddess Ertha.


Culled from: Death: A History Of Man's Obsessions And Fears


If you'd like to meet the Bog People, why not stop here first:
http://www.mesh5.com/tension/febmarch/bog.htm


Then Google to your heart's content. Naturally.


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Of course, you've heard about the two-headed baby that died after surgery to remove the second head:


http://www.cnn.com/2004/HEALTH/02/07/dominican.surgery.ap/index.html


And of course this tragedy should be mourned by all of us. I mean, this is one of the rarest birth defects in the world, and they had to go and ruin everything! How are we ever going to have our morbid curiosity satiated if they try to "fix" all the perfectly good freaks in this world? If they're not splitting apart Siamese twins, they're cutting off extra appendages... and all because they want anyone different to conform to the "norm". Well, gee, thanks a lot. Not only did we lose the subject of a fascinating future documentary, we also don't even have the intact baby in a jar of formaldehyde to gawk over.


Things like this just make me appreciate the Mütter Museum and its collection of Victorian curiosities even more!


(Oh, I stole the formaldehyde reference above from Katie. Hope you don't mind!)


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I'm back from another work-related trip to decidedly-dreary Plano, Texas. The company was wonderful but the atmosphere of Texas always makes me feel like I'm being crushed between a semi and a sheet of ice. And not in a *good* way either!


Of course, as always, no offense intended to those of you living in Texas. ;-)


Without further ado, let's take a look at the results of the first round in the latest...


Morbid Caption Contest!


As I previously stated, the two most popular choices will be moving forward to the semi-finals. And the lucky winners of this round are:


1) As dog is licking it's lips: "It's ok, I had subway!" (24%)
2) KNICK-NACK PADDY WACK......GIVE A DOG A BONE?! (17%)


My condolences to those of you whose suggestions didn't make the cut. Thank you for your contributions.


And now for Round Two. Here are your choices:


1) Mmmm.... Snausages
2) Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm - MichaelJackson-ITIS Its not just for humans.
3) Kibbles and bris, kibbles and bris, I'm gonna get me some kibbles and bris!
4) Sort of gives a whole new perspective on the saying "Bite my balls."
5) The only thing that would make it better would be if it were a cadaver dog!
6) The moral: Just say NO to penis oil.
7) Did the dog at least use a knife and fork?
8) The dog's name didn't happen to be Lorena, did it?
9) Penis: the OTHER dark meat!
10) Ohhhhhhhh... I wish I were an Oscar Myer Weiner


The MFDJ that this contest is inspired by is from January 6, 2004:


http://asylumeclectica.com/asylum/morbid/archives/morb0104.htm


Please go to the MFDJ website (scroll under the fact du jour) to vote:


http://asylumeclectica.com/asylum/morbid/


Thanks!


*******


Ghastly!


If you're sitting around bored and blue with nothing to do, why not try the ultimate test:


Meat Or Accident?


http://www.meatoraccident.co.uk/


I am ashamed to say, I only managed a 7. Of course, meat looks just as ghastly as accidents to me...


Link generously submitted by LaurLa


February 9, 2004

Today's Thirst-Quenching Yet Truly Horrible Morbid Fact!

A 23-year-old Mexican man hacked open his father's head after a row and then ate his brain in the western state of Michigan.
The suspect took a machete and rained blows on his 62-year-old parent, cracking open his skull after the father failed to calm his son following an argument. The son went on to drink blood from the gaping wound in his father's head before eating the man's brains during the incident in the town of Indaparapeo. The father unsuccessfully "tried to calm his son who aggressively began to tear up" work under construction in the place, a justice official said. Officials have so far been unable to confirm neighbours' accounts that the son had mental problems.

Culled from: The Independent Online (South Africa)
http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?click_id=122&art_id=qw1074127681397B252&set_id=1
Generously submitted by: Elizabeth

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Yeah, *I'll say* he was unsuccessful in calming his son! See what can happen when you don't make your kids take their Ritalin?

And, really, do we have any doubts that he has mental problems? I mean, don't we all? Some people drink Jagermeister, some people drink Cow milk, some people drink lye, and some people drink blood, but really, aren't we all just one big unhappy family of crazies?

To quote Jerri Blank when told she was an incredibly unfit mother, I like to think so...

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Morbid Mirth Du Jour!

Now, here's a truly demented game: Escape From Neverland! And you get to shoot children in it - what could possibly be more fun??? Come on, you know you want to...

http://www.zooass.com/games/neverland/gameframe.html

Link generously donated by Elizabeth.

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Morbid Joke Du Jour!

This groan is courtesy Newfers.

Q: What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

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A: Christopher Walken

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(Not-So) Morbid Link Du Jour!

Davey sends this one my way with the following description:

"This is just plain morbid. In an amazingly hilarious sort of way."

All Hail Ill Mitch!

http://www.illmitch.com/


February 9, 2004

Today's Fiery Yet Truly Horrible Morbid Fact!

In 1657, thousands of highly flammable wooden structures and a year of drought created ideal conditions for a massive fire in Tokyo. Legend has it that the fire started when a priest attempted to burn a kimono cursed with bad luck. Whatever its cause, the small fire that began in February was whipped into a massive wall of flames by gale-force winds. Flames swept from house to house and across Tokyo's narrow streets, raging south and east for two days, while consuming houses, temples, palaces, and shops. Then a sudden wind shift drove the flames back toward the center of the city and the shogun's castle. Thousands of people perished in the flames, either trapped by the advancing fires or trampled by stampeding crowds. After three days the flames died out, but smoke still darkened the ruined city. Snow began to fall, and homeless survivors then faced cold and famine, which would kill many of them. Overall, some 100,000 people perished in the calamity.

Culled from: The Pessimist's Guide To History

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As you know, fire disasters are my favorite obsession of late, and I've just finished reading another one! This one is about the Peshtigo Fire in Wisconsin, that occurred on the same day as the Great Chicago Fire and killed over 2,000 people in a massive firestorm that completely destroyed the town of Peshtigo. There are some fascinating accounts of the intensity of the fire in the book, and I will be sharing a few of those over the next few days... so brace yourself for incineration!

*******

Regarding yesterday's MFDJ - I realize that there was a typo in it now, although I didn't at the time... typical me. But the reference to the "western state of Michigan" should obviously have been the "western state of Michoacan" (Mexico). Duh! Thank you to those of you who pointed it out to me...

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Morbid Trinket Du Jour!

Terry Cruikshank is an extremely talented sculptor with a delightful taste for the macabre, and I think you too will enjoy perusing his creations.

http://www.terrycruikshank.com/

Personally, I think the fact that this beautiful work of art is not currently residing on my shelf is yet more proof that this is a very, very cruel world:

http://www.terrycruikshank.com/photos/index.php?display=baby1.jpg

And how's this one for topical? Now THIS is a fanatastic siamese twin! I'd like to see them TRY to cut that second head off that cute lil baby!

http://www.terrycruikshank.com/photos/index.php?display=.%2Ftwins1.jpg

Unfortunately, the only pieces that are up for auction currently are Lord of the Rings related, but they're morbid cool in their own special way:

http://cgi6.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewSellersOtherItems&userid=t.c.creations&include=0&since=-1&sort=3&rows=50

(Thanks to dee spair for this nifty link!)

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Morbid Joke Du Jour!

How can you tell when a man is well-hung?

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When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

(Thanks to Narkitten for this one.)


February 9, 2004

As promised, here is the first installation in a series of morbid facts surrounding the Peshtigo Fire of 1871 - the worst fire disaster in American history. The facts are all culled from the wonderful book "Firestorm At Peshtigo" by Denise Gess and William Lutz, which comes highly recommended by me. Without further ado, welcome to...

Today's Fiery Yet Truly Horrible Morbid Fact!

On October 8, 1871, a tornado of fire more than 1,000 feet high and 5 miles wide ripped through the town of Peshtigo, Wisconsin, destroying over 2,400 square miles of forest and killing more than 2,200 people. On the same day, 262 miles to the south, 300 people died in the highly publicized Chicago fire.

As the firestorm entered Peshtigo, the inhabitants began to realize that they had stayed in town too long. "Faster than it takes to write these words" is the phrase that every survivor used. They used it to describe the speed of a fireball hitting a house and setting it into instant flames; they used it to describe the speed with which one house was lifted from its foundation, then thrown through the air "a hundred feet" before it detonated midflight and sent stirrups of flaming wood flying like shrapnel. They used the phrase to explain the unforgettable sight of sixteen-year-old Peshtigo resident Helga Rockstead running along the boardwalk. Her long, waist-length hair was streaming out behind her and she was running from the flames, but she could not run fast enough from the fiery predator. Fire caught her by the hair and several onlookers watched as "her head burst into flame." The next thing they knew she was wrapped in a sheet of fire. They used it to describe the sight of a small boy, separated from his family, and how he knelt on the ground, crouching in prayer as fire lit his body.

Culled from: Firestorm At Peshtigo by Denise Gess and William Lutz

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And Peshtigo had the rotten luck of timing their fire on the same day as the Chicago fire, so they didn't even get much press out of this! And nobody remembers Peshtigo now, but everyone knows "Mrs. O'Leary's Cow". But that's okay, because then it makes it all the more fascinating and exciting when we do stumble across these obscure gems of morbidity!

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Morbid Joke Du Jour!

Why do you put babies in the blender feet-first?

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So you can see the expressions on their faces!

Thanks to Steve for that one!


February 10, 2004

Today's Fiery Yet Truly Horrible Morbid Fact!

In 1657, thousands of highly inflammable wooden structures and a year of drought created ideal conditions for a massive fire in Tokyo. Legend has it that the fire started when a priest attempted to burn a kimono cursed with bad luck. Whatever its cause, the small fire that began in February was whipped into a massive wall of flames by gale-force winds. Flames swept from house to house and across Tokyo's narrow streets, raging south and east for two days, while consuming houses, temples, palaces, and shops. Then a sudden wind shift drove the flames back toward the center of the city and the shogun's castle. Thousands of people perished in the flames, either trapped by the advancing fires or trampled by stampeding crowds. After three days the flames died out, but smoke still darkened the ruined city. Snow began to fall, and homeless survivors then faced cold and famine, which would kill many of them. Overall, some 100,000 people perished in the calamity.

Culled from: The Pessimist's Guide To History
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/006095745X/theasylumeclecti

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As you know, fire disasters are my favorite obsession of late, and I've just finished reading another one! This one is about the Peshtigo Fire in Wisconsin, that occurred on the same day as the Great Chicago Fire and killed over 2,000 people in a massive firestorm that completely destroyed the town of Peshtigo. There are some fascinating accounts of the intensity of the fire in the book, and I will be sharing a few of those over the next few days... so brace yourself for incineration!

*******

Regarding yesterday's MFDJ - I realize that there was a typo in it now, although I didn't at the time... typical me. But the reference to the "western state of Michigan" should obviously have been the "western state of Michoacan" (Mexico). Duh! Thank you to those of you who pointed it out to me...

*******

Morbid Trinket Du Jour!

Terry Cruikshank is an extremely talented sculptor with a delightful taste for the macabre, and I think you too will enjoy perusing his creations.

http://www.terrycruikshank.com/

Personally, I think the fact that this beautiful work of art is not currently residing on my shelf is yet more proof that this is a very, very cruel world:

http://www.terrycruikshank.com/photos/index.php?display=baby1.jpg

And how's this one for topical? Now THIS is a fanatastic siamese twin! I'd like to see them TRY to cut that second head off that cute lil baby!

http://www.terrycruikshank.com/photos/index.php?display=.%2Ftwins1.jpg

Unfortunately, the only pieces that are up for auction currently are Lord of the Rings related, but they're morbid cool in their own special way:

http://cgi6.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewSellersOtherItems&userid=t.c.creations&include=0&since=-1&sort=3&rows=50

(Thanks to dee spair for this nifty link!)

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Morbid Joke Du Jour!

How can you tell when a man is well-hung?

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When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

(Thanks to Narkitten for this one.)


February 12, 2004

As promised, here is the first installation in a series of morbid facts surrounding the Peshtigo Fire of 1871 - the worst fire disaster in American history. The facts are all culled from the wonderful book "Firestorm At Peshtigo" by Denise Gess and William Lutz, which comes highly recommended by me. Without further ado, welcome to...

Today's Fiery Yet Truly Horrible Morbid Fact!

On October 8, 1871, a tornado of fire more than 1,000 feet high and 5 miles wide ripped through the town of Peshtigo, Wisconsin, destroying over 2,400 square miles of forest and killing more than 2,200 people. On the same day, 262 miles to the south, 300 people died in the highly publicized Chicago fire.

As the firestorm entered Peshtigo, the inhabitants began to realize that they had stayed in town too long. "Faster than it takes to write these words" is the phrase that every survivor used. They used it to describe the speed of a fireball hitting a house and setting it into instant flames; they used it to describe the speed with which one house was lifted from its foundation, then thrown through the air "a hundred feet" before it detonated midflight and sent stirrups of flaming wood flying like shrapnel. They used the phrase to explain the unforgettable sight of sixteen-year-old Peshtigo resident Helga Rockstead running along the boardwalk. Her long, waist-length hair was streaming out behind her and she was running from the flames, but she could not run fast enough from the fiery predator. Fire caught her by the hair and several onlookers watched as "her head burst into flame." The next thing they knew she was wrapped in a sheet of fire. They used it to describe the sight of a small boy, separated from his family, and how he knelt on the ground, crouching in prayer as fire lit his body.

Culled from: Firestorm At Peshtigo by Denise Gess and William Lutz
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0805072934/theasylumeclecti

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And Peshtigo had the rotten luck of timing their fire on the same day as the Chicago fire, so they didn't even get much press out of this! And nobody remembers Peshtigo now, but everyone knows "Mrs. O'Leary's Cow". But that's okay, because then it makes it all the more fascinating and exciting when we do stumble across these obscure gems of morbidity!

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Morbid Joke Du Jour!

Why do you put babies in the blender feet-first?

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So you can see the expressions on their faces!

Thanks to Steve for that one!


February 14, 2004

As promised, here is the second installation in a series of morbid facts surrounding the Peshtigo Fire of 1871 - the worst fire disaster in American history. The facts are all culled from the wonderful book "Firestorm At Peshtigo" by Denise Gess and William Lutz, which comes highly recommended by me. Without further ado, welcome to...

Today's Fiery Yet Truly Horrible Morbid Fact!

On October 8, 1871, a tornado of fire more than 1,000 feet high and 5 miles wide ripped through the town of Peshtigo, Wisconsin, destroying over 2,400 square miles of forest and killing more than 2,200 people. On the same day, 262 miles to the south, 300 people died in the highly publicized Chicago fire.

Maggie Williamson fled her house with wet blankets wrapped about herself, her children, and her cousin. In the chaos outside, she became separated from them and ended up stopping in the middle of a clearing beside her neighbor Mrs. Demerau. They thought they would be safe from the flames there, however, within seconds Mrs. Demerau was shrieking loudly to her husband, "Nelson! I'm on fire." No sooner did she shout the words than she burst into flame from head to toe. Maggie ran to a safe place among the rocks protruding up from the ground. Someone stumbled against her, crying out loudly, and when Maggie parted the blanket to peer out she saw a woman, her body on fire, stretched out beside her. Maggie did not know which of her relatives it was, only that the roasting body was wearing earrings and her young niece had just received earrings as an engagement gift that day. The flames from the burning woman blew directly at Maggie as she tried to push the incinerated head away from her. She could hear flesh crackle.

Culled from: Firestorm At Peshtigo by Denise Gess and William Lutz
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0805072934/theasylumeclecti

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Many of you have questioned how a fireball can be tossed about by a forest fire, and how a "tornado" of fire can occur. Well the phenomenon that hit Peshtigo is known as a firestorm. Firestorms are the most violent and extreme of fires. Fed by strong winds and highly combustible tinder, a firestorm bursts into a monstrous tornado of fire with winds of 110 mph or more and a temperature of at least 2000 degrees Fahrenheit (the temperature of a crematorium). A firestorm generates just as much heat and power as a nuclear explosion. So, as you can imagine, in Peshtigo during the storm the heat was so great that houses/people/animals were simply spontaneously combusting from the heat - without flames actually reaching them, and the winds were tossing about flaming objects everywhere. This is how a fireball could strike a house and set it ablaze.

A firestorm must be one of the scariest, if not THE scariest, of all natural phenomenon. I'd *hate* to get caught in one!

Jorden adds a nugget:
"And just a nugget of info for ya... The US created the 1st man made Firestorm in Dresden, Germany durring World War II. Or so I heard when I visted there, which despite the carnage we created they were still very hospitable."

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Morbid Trinkets Du Jour!

Sideshow Collectibles has pre-orders going on right now for a couple of morbidly delightful action figures!

Vlad the Impaler
http://www.sideshowtoy.com/cgi-bin/category.cgi?category=monsters&item=5902&type=store

and - even better! -

Leatherface
http://www.sideshowtoy.com/cgi-bin/category.cgi?category=monsters&item=73071&type=store

Now, those are QUALITY morbid trinkets!


February 17, 2004

As promised, here is the third installation in a series of morbid facts surrounding the Peshtigo Fire of 1871 - the worst fire disaster in American history. The facts are all culled from the wonderful book "Firestorm At Peshtigo" by Denise Gess and William Lutz, which comes highly recommended by me. Without further ado, welcome to...

Today's Fiery Yet Truly Horrible Morbid Fact!

On October 8, 1871, a tornado of fire more than 1,000 feet high and 5 miles wide ripped through the town of Peshtigo, Wisconsin, destroying over 2,400 square miles of forest and killing more than 2,200 people. On the same day, 262 miles to the south, 300 people died in the highly publicized Chicago fire.

Women and young girls were particularly vulnerable to the fire. When their clothes caught, the clothing acted as a covering wrapped around a lighted candle would, securing the wax drippings inside the candle, thereby intensifying the heat. Because females have higher fat contents in their bodies and wore so many laters of clothing, once they were set to flame, the fat naturally acted as extra fuel. Like the superheated resin inside the trees that made the trunks explode, the intensely hot human "fat drippings" caused women to combust.

Culled from: Firestorm At Peshtigo by Denise Gess and William Lutz
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0805072934/theasylumeclecti

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Sure paints a pretty picture, doesn't it? Fat Drippings. Sigh... I really need to go on a diet before I explode into a fiery candle walking by a lit match!

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Morbid Caption Contest

Okay, we have the results from the second round of the Morbid Caption Contest and the winners of this round (moving on to the finals) are:

1) Kibbles and bris, kibbles and bris, I'm gonna get me some kibbles and bris! (46%)

2) Penis: the OTHER dark meat! (21%)


Now it's time for Round Three! And here are the new contestants:

1) [DOG WITH HEAD HUNG LOW, AND BIG SAD EYES LOOKING AT MOM AND DAD] "I'M SORRY...I THOUGHT IT WAS MY SNAUSAGE!"

2) Dogs Just Love The Flavor - Circum-Kibbles Brand Dog Food - Serve It Fresh For Your Hungry Dog Today!

3) It's all about the silver lining with this one folks, at least the dog likes to eat kosher.

4) AND THE BITCHES' NAME WAS LORENA.......

5) "Must be the Puppy Chow"

6) Everyone is overlooking the real tragedy here, and that is, with his manhood missing, that is the closest that baby will ever come to oral sex in his life.

7) "... Sadly, it was only after this tragic incident that Mr Mamman learned that the dog was named 'Michael Jackson' and had been raised by Jeffery Dahmer. "

8) What's left to say but... "Where's the Beef"

9) "......... And here I always told my son to watch out as the cat might try to get his bird."

10) What kind of dog was it you ask? Why, it must have been a wiener dog!

Cast your votes at the Morbid Fact Du Jour website:

http://asylumeclectica.com/asylum/morbid/


February 20, 2004

As promised, here is the fourth installation in a series of morbid facts surrounding the Peshtigo Fire of 1871 - the worst fire disaster in American history. The facts are all culled from the wonderful book "Firestorm At Peshtigo" by Denise Gess and William Lutz, which comes highly recommended by me. Without further ado, welcome to...

Today's Fiery Yet Truly Horrible Morbid Fact!

On October 8, 1871, a tornado of fire more than 1,000 feet high and 5 miles wide ripped through the town of Peshtigo, Wisconsin, destroying over 2,400 square miles of forest and killing more than 2,200 people. On the same day, 262 miles to the south, 300 people died in the highly publicized Chicago fire.

The only chance for survival from the firestorm was the river, and those residents who escaped the speeding flames struggled to find refuge in the water. However, even in the river, there was no guarantee of survival. A solid ceiling of flame hung over the river, and the only escape from death was to duck under the water and stay there until compelled to come up for breath. Breathing itself was unbearable, with the possibility of burned lungs and deadly pneumothorax (collapse of the lungs and thoracic cavity) ever-present. Sandy Mac was one of the few survivors. When the firestorm had passed, he believed that he had been blinded by the flames. He felt his face and found that his eyelids were pasted shut and his face was swollen to three times its normal size. His facial burns were as severe as radiation burns in which the top layers of skin are so thoroughly seared that the skin bloats and stretches tautly over the bones of the face, often searing the retinas and sealing the eyelids closed. He had to pull his eyelids open to see.

Culled from: Firestorm At Peshtigo by Denise Gess and William Lutz
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0805072934/theasylumeclecti

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Okay, I'll share one more tidbit from this book tomorrow... and then it's back to the normal MFDJ grind again. If indeed anything that I am involved in can be termed "normal".

Oh, and how about my beloved San Francisco taking a stand for civil rights? It makes me all misty-eyed and proud to be from Northern California. For once.

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Morbid Mirth Du Jour!

What's blue and doesn't fit?

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A dead epileptic.


(You can thank Bernard for this one.)


February 23, 2004

As promised, here is the fifth and final installation in a series of morbid facts surrounding the Peshtigo Fire of 1871 - the worst fire disaster in American history. The facts are all culled from the wonderful book "Firestorm At Peshtigo" by Denise Gess and William Lutz, which comes highly recommended by me. Without further ado, welcome to...

Today's Fiery Yet Truly Horrible Morbid Fact!

On October 8, 1871, a tornado of fire more than 1,000 feet high and 5 miles wide ripped through the town of Peshtigo, Wisconsin, destroying over 2,400 square miles of forest and killing more than 2,200 people. On the same day, 262 miles to the south, 300 people died in the highly publicized Chicago fire.

A small group of Peshtigo residents found refuge from the fire in a spot where the little valley dipped downward near the river's edge, sheltered by sand hills. The fire had blown over the heads of those who lay on the bottom. Nearby, however, an old woman whose fear of drowning was greater than her fear of burning had been too terrified to plunge into the river. Instead she had clung to the bank with only her lower extremities submerged. Pernin saw that her torso was burned to a crisp but she was still alive. Her moaning sounded like the baleful howl of a wounded and wretched dog, but there was nothing anyone could do for her.

Culled from: Firestorm At Peshtigo by Denise Gess and William Lutz
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0805072934/theasylumeclecti

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Somehow I think I'd get over my fear of drowning REALLY fast if I was getting cooked, don't you?

I hope you enjoyed these Peshtigo facts. There are quite a few more excellent slices of morbidity in the book, but I'll leave those for you to discover on your own, if you so desire.

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Tragic Morbid Link Update

I'm so disappointed to have to break this very unfortunate news to you, but for some reason the powers that be at the Texas Department of Criminal Justice have decided to take down the fascinating list of Final Meals for executed prisoners. Apparently, they're worried about their "image" - as if any agency in Texas has ever worried about such a thing before!

Luckily, The Memory Hole archived the site before its demise, so you can still peruse the culinary choices of the nearly-dead. Personally, I think I'd just have ice cream...

http://www.thememoryhole.org/deaths/texas-final-meals.htm

Oh, and Dead Man Eating has a nice collection as well:

http://www.deadmaneating.com/dmearch.html

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Morbid Caption Contest

Okay, we have the winners from the 3rd round of the morbid caption contest (see MFDJ February 1, 2004 for details - http://www.asylumeclectica.com/asylum/morbid/archives/morb0204.htm). And the two finalists from this round are ..........

................. <drum roll>

1) What kind of dog was it you ask? Why, it must have been a wiener dog! (24%)

2) "Must be the Puppy Chow" (19%)


And now, on with Round Four!

1) (Headline of Article): Dog feels like a "meaty bite"

2) "Tikes' Tender Tackle Turns Tantalizing Tidbits"

3) "Ruh Roh Shaggy, our favorite prepared, circumsized meats!"

4) ...the other white meat.

5) Loved puppy eats boys meat.

6) Passion pup likes his meat raw!

7) Doggone this meat is tender!

8) A boy and his dog share a bit of meat.

9) "A truly different kind of SPAM eater!"

10) "dog still hungry after snack"

Be sure to cast your vote! I'll be starting the next round on Thursday (if, indeed, I am a faithful Comtesse who gets her facts out on a daily basis again).

http://asylumeclectica.com/asylum/morbid/


February 25, 2004

Today's Explosive Yet Truly Horrible Morbid Fact!

A retired surgeon and his brother died in a freak accident when a homemade oxygen chamber exploded in the backyard of a Polokwane, South Africa house - blasting the remains of one of them more than 10m away. The blast ripped open the steel wall of the cylinder, which was between 10cm and 15cm thick, and shattered neighbours' windows. The gruesome incident occurred while the doctor, from Modimolle, was visiting his brother at the Dorp Street house. Dr Paul Eloff, 76, was undergoing treatment for poor blood circulation inside the pressurised chamber when it exploded on Friday afternoon. His brother, Gerhard, 66, a retired auditor, was standing near the heavy steel cylinder with his 27-year-old son, Georg. Dr Eloff's remains were found about 10m away from the cylinder. Its hatch lay about 15m away. Georg escaped the brunt of the explosion and suffered only minor injuries. He managed to drag his father around the corner of the house, away from the cylinder. A witness, Marieta Herselman, said police cordoned off a large area around the house. "The remains were taken away in plastic bags. It was horrific. It was like scraping leaves together in your garden and putting them in plastic bags."

Culled from: Sunday Times
http://www.sundaytimes.co.za/2004/02/01/news/gauteng/njhb01.asp
Generously submitted by: Audra Gray

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I love that "scraping leaves together" comment... In fact, that would make a great album title. Alas, so many ideas, so little time...

FatsoRizzo comments: "I just had to respond... I took SCUBA classes when I was a kid, and one of the more horrifying things that could happen would be if a tank accidentally blew up. What you describe is much more deadly than what I was taught, but I remember that if a SCUBA tank accidentally had its pressure gauge torn off, the force would propell the aforementioned tank at least 2 city blooks in distance, there is a well documented case as such. I magine being the poor diver whom happened to scrape the wrong coral at the wrong time?"

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Morbid Computer Du Jour!

Come on, admit your jealousy! I have.

http://www.curlydavid.com/hella.html

(Thanks to Fran for the link)

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"My Brush With Morbidity" by RockyGotFingered

"My brush with morbidity takes me back to when I was around 12. My father knew a man who suffered from epilepsy, whose name was Bob, and at times would have seizers. He would stop by normally once or twice a week. But after a month without seeing him, my dad got worried and went to his apartment. I had nothing else to do, so I ventured along, just to see what was wrong. We went up to his apartment and all and got to the door. The smell was so malodorous that it made BOTH of us gag. As my dad beat on the door, I looked in the window ... and what I saw haunted me - a human leg sprawed across a bed. My dad noticed the same thing, and we went home to call the police. It turns out that he was beaten by a local police officer, who ran the apartment building. My dad, who is a private investigator, interviewed the officer, and noticed that a gun rack, television, and a few other odds and ends that were once found in Bob's apartment suspiciously appear in the officer's apartment."

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You know, this reminds me of my old neighbor who was in decidedly ill health. He was in and out of the hospital frequently, and often did not venture out of his apartment for days on end. Of course, everytime I walked by his place, I stopped at his door and sniffed about, just in case.

I mentioned this to a friend and she thought this was quite appalling: "Why didn't you knock on the door to check on him?" I thought that was quite a strange thing to say. I mean, if he's dead, he's not going to answer the door, is he?

Some people... ;-)

 



Vulgarities...