November, 2003

November 1, 2003

Today's Persecuted Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

Three members of the same family accused of being witches committed suicide in India in October, 2003 after fellow villagers publicly humiliated them, forcing them to eat human excrement. Six people the police want to interview in connection with the case have gone missing. The deaths occurred in the village of Kamalpura in the state of Bihar, in eastern India, where attacks on people accused of witchcraft are common. One of the three family members, a 60-year-old woman, Kari Devi, had been the subject of attacks for a year. Last week a group attacked her, her husband and daughter-in-law. The two women had their hair cut off before the three were forced to eat human waste. Villagers had said the three were responsible for the death of a local person they had cast spells on. On Thursday, the three all took poison and died. "They could not bear the continuous torture and finally lost the will to live," a relative told the police. Last July, two women accused of witchcraft were burned to death by a mob in the neighbouring state of Jharkhand.

Culled from: BBC
Generously submitted by: Red-Barchetta

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On this day after Samhain, it's important to remember the persecution that still occurs in the name of "Witchcraft". Very sad.

I hope everyone had a Most Morbid Halloween or a Stupendously Spiritual Samhain, whichever you prefer. I, myself, had a very lackluster evening, as I spent most of it fighting with uncooperative electronics as I tried to set up TiVo. I've almost got everything working correctly... but not quite. (Sigh...) So, I pretty much missed Halloween altogether in my obsession. Therefore, tonight, I shall burn some gruesome candles and watch some films to celebrate in a belated fashion.

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By the way, with shows like Buffy, Sabrina, and Harry Potter, Wicca is on the rise! Here's proof:

http://www.yenra.com/secret-spells-barbie/

(Read the comments on the link for a good laugh too!)

Of course, you know that the Christians have to protest this:

"I've never seen the secret spells barbie here when buying barbies for my little girls, but it sounds like a very thinly veiled attempt to introduce our kids to witchcraft and the occult."

(Thinly veiled, huh? ... I bet they take their kids to Harry Potter and don't think twice...)

"Wow I had no idea that had this Barbie out. This is truly witch craft. I agree with Jason and dbark on this. We need to pray for our children and rebuke these 'toys' that the devil is using to lure our children into evilness. I just pray that these Barbie's are taken off the shelf and I rebuke satans work in this in Jesus name. Amen
Philippians 4:13
'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.'"

(http://forums.christianity.com/html/P719328/)

Ha ha - This is great entertainment!

Andrew writes: "The one I like is:

"Deuteronomy18:10-12 says-There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his son or daughter pass through the fire, or one who practices witchcraft, or a soothsayer, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer. or one who conjurs spells, or a medium, or a spiritist, or one who calls up the dead.. For those who do these things are an abomination to the Lord, and because of these abominations the Lord your God drives them out before you.

"Now, I don't know about ALL these professions, but I'm PRETTY sure there are more than a few 'Christians' in those crowds John Edwards hornswoggles in Crossing Over, and frankly, I'd like to know the difference between a soothsayer, and, say... a prophet??? Ah, well, Schiller said it best: Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain. (*heh!* Sorry, just started reading Asimov again)"

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I Want My Morbid TV!

And speaking of great entertainment, I have heard through the rotten grapevine that the latest episode of America Undercover on HBO is graphic and disturbing. Of course, I'm sure those two words perk up your ears exactly the way they perk up mine! Here's the description:

"For nearly three days in October 2002, a Moscow theater took center stage in world news after a group of 41 heavily armed Chechen terrorists took more than 700 people hostage. Their intent: kill everyone inside unless Russia agreed to withdraw its troops from neighboring Chechnya. The events of those 57 harrowing hours are revisited firsthand in this gripping documentary that incorporates the testimony of survivors with recordings of phone calls and incredible video footage shot from within the besieged theater by the terrorists themselves. Produced and directed by Dan Reed (The Valley); narrated by renowned actor Ian McShane."

The show has already aired a few times, but there's still time to catch it! It will be rerun several times, starting this Monday (11/3). Here's a link to the calendar so that you can determine what time it will be showing for your location:

http://www.hbo.com/apps/schedule/ScheduleServlet?ACTION_DETAIL=DETAIL&ID=102800

And for those of you without HBO, I offer my most grievous frowny:

:(

See if you can get a friend to tape it for you!

(Having said all this, this better be good!)

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Morbid Photograph Du Jour!

And finally, I'd like to share this absolutely wonderful mortuary photograph. I'd like to have this in my collection!

http://www.strangecosmos.com/view.adp?picture_id=11332

Submitted by Steve Ekenberg.


November 2, 2003

Today's Drugged-Out Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

A student cut off his own penis and his tongue after drinking an infusion of the latest drugs craze to sweep Germany. The 18-year-old, only named as Andreas W, from Halle in Germany drank a tea made with the hallucinogenic angels' trumpet plants. His mother said: "Andreas was behaving normally the whole day until he left the house and disappeared into the garden for a couple of minutes." When he returned to the house he was wearing a towel wrapped around him and was bleeding heavily from his mouth and between his legs. The emergency doctor who arrived a few minutes later said the student had cut off his penis and his tongue with garden shears and it was impossible to reattach the organs. Dr Andreas Marneros, from the local psychiatric hospital the student was admitted to, said: "Andreas will have to receive psychological help for years. Tea from Angels' Trumpets is extremely dangerous as the drug cannot be dosed." Angels' Trumpets, known for their fragrant and trumpet shaped flowers, have increasingly become popular as an alternative drug in Germany.

Culled from: Ananova
Generously submitted by: Beth P

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Hmmmm... he's not going to be able to offer much to the ladies or the men now, is he? Poor guy... They should make a commercial about this. "This is your penis and tongue..... This is your penis and tongue on Angels' Trumpets." I think it would be just about the best deterrent ever, don't you?

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Correction:

The link to Secret Spells Barbie that I sent out yesterday was somehow erroneous (I know, I can't figure out how that happened either!) Here's the correct one:

http://www.webdesk.com/secret-spells-barbie

I do apologize for my grievous oversight.

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Morbid Poetry Du Jour

The Worms Crawl In

Never laugh when a ghost goes by—
It may be your turn next to die.
They wrap you up in a big white sheet
And throw you down, six feet deep.
All goes well for a week or two,
Then things start happening; all is new.
Worms crawl in and worms crawl out,
And ants play ping-pong on your snout.
One worm that's not quite so shy
Crawls in one ear and out one eye,
Till your blood turns to a sickery green
And oozes out like Devonshire cream.
~Anonymous

Submitted by Beth from the marvelous Miss Mary's Victorian Halloween site:
http://www.victorianhalloween.com/oct/library/worms.shtml

Spanky writes: "Ohhh, and for a fantastic musical rendition of this (or some of it?!) check out the last track on The Pogues album 'If I Should Fall From Grace With God'... more music to slit your wrists by!"

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Morbid Quiz Du Jour!

Can you tell a serial killer from a computer programmer? It's not as easy as you think. Give it a shot here:

http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz/

Thanks to Andi M. for the link.


November 3, 2003

Yet ANOTHER testicle story! And how can I resist...

Today's Emotional Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

In November, 2002, a man who was put in a police cell for the night for being drunk in public had one of his testicles bitten off in an attack at a police station in George in the Western Cape, South Africa. Johan Badenhorst, 29, underwent emergency surgery after the incident. Crying uncontrollably, Badenhorst said he relived the horror every time he closed his eyes and has had nightmares since it happened. "I can still see him with my flesh and blood hanging from his mouth," he said, weeping. He said the man attacked him while he was locked up in a police cell with seven other people for public drunkenness. "He tore my testicle from my body while I lay there screaming. I went totally limp and could not fight back." He said the crazed man then spat the testicle out against the wall. He did not know then that it was his testicle and only later when doctors told him it was missing did it dawn on him what he had seen hanging from the attacker's mouth. Badenhorst had barely been in the cell 15 minutes when his attacker was locked up in the same cell. "He told me to take my clothes off because he was going to have sex with me." When Badenhorst fought back, the man allegedly ripped his pants off and started biting him all over his body. "I fell and while I was on the ground he bit me between my legs," he said emotionally. Badenhorst said he had been sharing some wine with six people whom he met in a park when he was arrested. He said he had not heard from the police again since they brought a plastic bag containing his severed body part to the hospital after he was admitted just before midnight last Friday. Police took him to hospital after finding him lying in a pool of blood. Police spokesperson Eddie Cronje said it was difficult to prevent things like that from happening in holding cells. "Sometimes up to 10 people are kept in one cell." He said an officer on duty heard the man screaming and they immediately rushed to his assistance and took him to hospital. A charge of assault with intent to do grievous bodily harm was been laid against a 33-year-old man. Cronje said a doctor had contacted the police station and asked them to locate the missing testicle, which they did, still stuck to the wall. By the time they brought the testicle to hospital it was too late to reconnect it.

Culled from: source unspecified, but if you want to verify the story is real go here:
http://iafrica.com/news/sa/191956.htm
Generously submitted by: Dhenier

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Okay... is it just me, or is this one of the funniest morbid facts ever? Uh, in a horrible way, of course... ;-)

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Morbid Link Du Jour!

If you're looking for the perfect way to tell that special person you love them, or tell that no longer special person you hate them, or frighten strangers, then why not send them...

Bloody Finger Mail!

http://www.bloodyfingermail.com/message.php?id=351123

It's worked wonders for me! :-)

(And yes, I made that greeting just for you. Ain't I sweet?)


November 4, 2003

Today's Sadistic Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

On Christmas Eve, 1959, a 28-year-old Irish laborer named Patrick Byrne got drunk and crept into the grounds of a hostel for women in Edgbaston, Birmingham, England, hoping to spy on women undressing. As Byrne peered through one door, the girl inside the room came towards him and was immediately attacked by him. He strangled her, raped her, then cut off her head with a breadknife, after which he raped her again. All this excited him so much that he went off looking for another girl to attack, but someone screamed when he struck her on the head and he fled. Byrne was not a suspect in the murder, but when questioned, in a routine investigation seven weeks later, he immediately confessed. He admitted to indulging in sadistic fantasies about women, and said that he had killed Stephanie Baird as a revenge against all women, "to get my own back on them for causing my nervous tension through sex".

Culled from: The Mammoth Book Of The History Of Murder

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Oh, it's a wise woman who takes heed of Patrick's warning and avoids causing nervous tension through sex! Hmmm... "Nervous Tension Through Sex". It has a nice ring to it. Kind of like, "Better Living Through Television" or something...

... where was I? ...

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Morbid Mirth Du Jour

Oh, yes - I was going to share one of the least tasteful jokes I've come across in awhile.

What did the blind, deaf, and crippled kid get for Christmas?


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Cancer

(Blame this one on HAL!)

Oh - and might I mention that my brother is developmentally disabled and my mother has cancer, so you can't accuse me of being a bigot with this one, okay? ;-)

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Morbid Trinket Du Jour!

Like TiVo, you will probably wonder how you ever lived without this once you lay your eyes upon it.

Feto Soap

http://www.fetosoap.com/

Awwwwwww... isn't Sweetest Fetus just sooooooo cute? ;-)

(Thanks to Brandy for the link.)


November 5, 2003

Today's Torn Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

The lengths to which a torturer could go are exemplified in a speech made by Edmund Burke during the trial of Warren Hastings, who was charged in 1788 with violation of the trust reposed in him as Governor-General of India. One of Hasting's minions was a tax collector named Devi Sing:

"He frequently had a father and son tied naked to one another by the feet and arms, and then flogged until the skin was torn from the flesh; and he had the devilish satisfaction to know that every blow must hurt; for if one escaped the son, his sensibility was wounded by the knowledge he had that the blow had fallen on his father: the same torture was felt by the father, when he knew that every blow that missed him had fallen on his son. The treatment of the females could not be described... the virgins were carried to the Court of Justice, where they might naturally have looked for protection, but now they looked for it in vain; for in the face of the Ministers of Justice, in the faces of the spectators, in the face of the sun, those tender and modest virgins were brutally violated ... Other females had the nipples of their breasts put in a cleft bamboo, and torn off."

Culled from: The History Of Torture

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For the critics, there's proof that I don't just feature stories about testicle crushing and pen!s chopping. I'm an equal-opportunity Comtesse, and I'd never turn down a horrifying story, regardless of the gender or age of the victim. Desensitizing the masses is, after all, what I do best...

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Morbid News Du Jour!

And how 'bout that Green River killer, eh? Gary Ridgway has written himself an expansive entry in the annals of serial killer lore. Of course, I always maintain that the REALLY prolific and skilled Serial Killers are the ones who never get caught, but he managed to elude the authorities for a really long time. Congratulations, Gary - you despicable scum-sucking utterly pathetic little man!!

http://www.cnn.com/2003/LAW/11/05/green.river.killings/index.html

By the way, I'm eagerly awaiting the A&E special... :-)

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Morbid Link Du Jour!

I'm relieved that someone has finally found a practical application for those baby changing stations in restrooms!

http://www.babysmasher.com/


November 6, 2003

Today's Torn Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

In Britain hanging was the principal form of execution from Anglo-Saxon times up to abolition of the death penalty in 1964. At the beginning of the 19th century there were an amazing two hundred and twenty two capital crimes, including such terrible offences as impersonating a Chelsea pensioner and damaging London Bridge. It should be noted that in practice there were only about 16 offences for which the death sentence was generally carried out in the eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries. These included murder, attempted murder, arson, rape, sodomy, forgery, uttering (passing forged or counterfeit moneys or bills) coining, robbery, highway robbery (then name for street crimes that we would call mugging) robbery in a dwelling house, returning from transportation, cutting and maiming (grievous bodily harm) and horse, cattle or sheep stealing. For all the other offences transportation to America or Australia was normally substituted for execution.

Culled from: Capital Punishment U.K.
Link provided by: Dave

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If you love to read about executions, the site linked above is loaded with excellent information. I think I'll be swiping quite a few morbid facts from its pages in the future. It's an incredible resource for "people like us".

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Morbid Trinket Du Jour!

Beth sent me a link to another of those horribly offensive t-shirt shops that we all love. T-Shirt Hell (http://www.tshirthell.com/) has got some doozies. For example:

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Ground up and in the freezer"
http://www.tshirthell.com/shirts/tshirt.php?sku=a252

"Postal Shootings Tour"
http://www.tshirthell.com/shirts/tshirt.php?sku=a236

"What About All The Good Things Hitler Did?"
http://www.tshirthell.com/shirts/tshirt.php?sku=a192

And who wouldn't love to dress their kid in this shirt:

"They Shake Me"
http://www.tshirthell.com/shirts/tshirt.php?sku=a212

They also have some nice gift wrapping... and Christmas is coming up, you know...

http://www.tshirthell.com/wraphell.shtml

Of course, they also have a lot of stupid rubbish, but don't they all?


November 9, 2003

Today's Charred Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

India's main opposition Congress party, which has pledged to get tough on crime against women, suffered a severe blow Monday (November 3, 2003) when a court convicted a former party leader of killing his wife and burning her body in an open-air barbecue. Additional Sessions Judge G. P. Thareja convicted former Congress politician Sushil Sharma on charges of murder, criminal conspiracy and the destruction of evidence following the July 2, 1995 murder of his wife Naina Sahni. Sharma, currently in prison, is charged with shooting his then 29-year-old wife, a pilot, on suspicion of infidelity, chopping up the corpse and shoving it into the grill at the Baghiya restaurant to wipe out evidence. But police raided the restaurant, owned by a friend of Sharma, and dug out charred body parts later identified as Sahni's from the still-blazing Indian-style oven. The charges could mean the death sentence for Sharma, who was president of the prestigious youth chapter of the Congress party when he committed the crime. Sharma, who was opposed to publicising his marriage to former pilot Sahni, on the fateful night redialled a number his wife was talking to on the telephone and then shot her three times in the belief the person on the other end was her lover.

Culled from: AFP
Generously submitted by: Elizabeth

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I think I'll do a double-take the next time I see the words "Indian-Style Barbeque"...

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Morbid Link Du Jour!

Check out this brilliant video on the perils of teenage cannibalism. Please don't fall into the same trap that Bobby did!

http://zed.cbc.ca/go.ZeD?CONTENT_ID=11161&page=media-viewer

Link submitted by: David


November 10, 2003

Today's Maggot-ridden Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

Green River Killer Gary Ridgway admitted that he had post-mortem intercourse with some of his victims and that a few of these women had been decomposed enough that maggots had begun to appear on the bodies. Ridgway described his feelings about having sex with one of his dead victims: "That would be a…uh, that would be a good day, an evening or after I got off work and go have sex with her. And that’d last for one or two days till couldn’t…till the flies came. And I’d bury ‘em and cover ‘em up." Ridgway’s desire for sexual intercourse with a corpse was apparently so strong that he would engage in risky behavior to accomplish it. Ridgway described an occasion where he drove back to visit the body of a woman he had killed, with his son in his truck. While his son slept in the truck, Ridgway got out, had intercourse with the body some thirty feet away, and returned to the truck. Ridgway assured the detectives that his son was a “hard sleeper.” Ridgway claimed that he only had post-mortem sex with ten or so of his victims. But, as he explained to a psychiatrist, this was partly a matter of convenience because their bodies were close to his home. Ridgway’s motives for post-mortem intercourse were, according to him, simple: “Just wanted sex. And it was free. I didn’t have to pay for it. I killed her.” Ridgway implied that having sexual intercourse with a dead woman was not his preference; rather, it was a matter of economics and convenience. Ridgway admitted that it was more difficult for him to reach climax with a cold dead body than with a live victim. Eventually, Ridgway said, he stopped having sex with his victims after killing them because it became less satisfying. He preferred, "something fresh instead of someone who is cold and hard to get a hard on with a cold body." Ridgway described one episode where he killed a woman in the back of his truck, then drove to work. At lunch, he said, he drove the back to the site where he had “dated” her earlier with the body still in the back of the truck and had intercourse with the body in the back of the truck. Then he drove back to work, with the body still in the truck.

Culled from: The Seattle Times
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/news/local/links/ridg_summary.pdf
Generously submitted by: William Thirteen

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If you're in the mood for a disturbing read (and aren't we all?), I suggest you read the PDF document linked above. It's the Prosecutor's Summary Of Evidence for the case against Ridgway, and it has other interesting details as well. I just thought the ones above were the most fascinating. Because I am very sick.

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Morbid Game Du Jour!

Think you can beat the Russians at their own game?

Then, why not try Russian Roulette?

You'll be glad you did!

http://www.greenpig.com/shock/rr.htm

Link provided by Paradox.


November 11, 2003

Fukojoshi is a Japanese term that literally means "death on the stomach". A euphemism in English might be "dying with a smile on your face" (yes, death during coitus). Masahiko Ueno, a retired public medical examiner from the Tokyo Metropolitan Inspection Hospital, is a self-professed world expert on fukujoshi. Shukan Post, Japan's best selling weekly magazine, provides some extracts from Ueno's "Otoko to Onna no Kanashii Shitai (Forlorn Corpses of Men and Women)," in which he recounts some of the saucier endings he's come across through the years. And so, without further ado, I present...

Today's Fukojoshi Du Jour!

"When a man and woman die together, most would think of a lover's suicide pact. I've worked on a lot of cases like this, but one in particular stands out. It was back in the late '60s in a room of what would now be called a love hotel. The bodies of a man and woman were found joined as though they were still having sex. It looked as though they'd taken some cyanide in their middle of their romp and died. But if you take cyanide, death is rarely pretty and it's highly unlikely the couple would have been able to remain in such an immaculate position. I was surprised when I found out what had really happened. The couple had bound their waists and legs together during copulation, then covered themselves with a futon. In all the 20,000 post mortem examinations I made, it was the only case I'd ever seen like that."

Culled from: Mainichi Daily News

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Now you have a new word to impress all your friends with. And I'll have some more good tales of fukojoshi coming up in the next couple of facts. I know, you're rapt with anticipation... Who wouldn't be?

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Morbid Mirth Du Jour!

And in honor of yesterday's gag-worthy Green River Necrophile fact, snakelet sends this joke:

What did one necrophile say to the other?
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Let's go down to the morgue and have a cold one...


November 12, 2003

And now for the second of three Fukojoshi Facts...

Fukojoshi is a Japanese term that literally means "death on the stomach". A euphemism in English might be "dying with a smile on your face" (yes, death during coitus). Masahiko Ueno, a retired public medical examiner from the Tokyo Metropolitan Inspection Hospital, is a self-professed world expert on fukujoshi. Shukan Post, Japan's best selling weekly magazine, provides some extracts from Ueno's "Otoko to Onna no Kanashii Shitai (Forlorn Corpses of Men and Women)," in which he recounts some of the saucier endings he's come across through the years. And so, without further ado, I present today's...

Fukojoshi Du Jour!

"I had a case where a young university lecturer was seeing an older woman on the side. At 45, she was seven years older than her beau. Of the pair, the woman was the more proactive. After about 30 minutes of their session, the woman suddenly gasped and collapsed. Trying to get his timing right to please his partner, the man then climaxed. The woman began foaming at the mouth, shuddered and stopped breathing. The man was still on top of her, but in a half-dreamlike state, and it took him a while to cotton on what had happened. She'd had a brain hemorrhage during sex."

Culled from: Mainichi Daily News

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So, if your partner dies during sex and you don't realize it (which opens an entire warehouse full of worms in and of itself), can you be labeled a necrophile?

Something to ponder on a morose Thursday...

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And, of course, we should have another necrophile joke today to celebrate the "occasion". Don't you think?

Morbid Mirth Du Jour!

"I used to be a necrophile... until some rotten cunt split on me!"

<BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! HISSSSSSS!!!!!!!>

Please, throw the rotten tomatoes at Grant!


November 13, 2003

And here's the third and final Fukojoshi Fact...

Fukojoshi is a Japanese term that literally means "death on the stomach". A euphemism in English might be "dying with a smile on your face" (yes, death during coitus). Masahiko Ueno, a retired public medical examiner from the Tokyo Metropolitan Inspection Hospital, is a self-professed world expert on fukujoshi. Shukan Post, Japan's best selling weekly magazine, provides some extracts from Ueno's "Otoko to Onna no Kanashii Shitai (Forlorn Corpses of Men and Women)," in which he recounts some of the saucier endings he's come across through the years. And so, without further ado, I present...

Fukojoshi Du Jour!

Masturbation can also lead to a kind of do-it-yourself fukujoshi, with auto-erotic asphyxiation the major culprit, though Ueno notes that arm-wrestling the purple-headed stormtrooper can produce other deadly results. "One night a young man climbed up a utility pole and gained an unobstructed view of a second-floor bedroom. Inside was a couple in the act of androgynation ["intercourse between a man and a woman" - I had to look it up too - despair]. The young man held his breath and peered with intense interest. After a while he began onanizing himself. As he approached climax, he forgot he was holding the utility pole, let go of his hands in ecstasy and fell to the ground, dying."

Culled from: Mainichi Daily News

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You know (direct from the 'Too-Much-Information Department'), I have trouble standing during an orgasm, even when I'm just in the shower or on a nice soft carpeted floor. I can't even FATHOM a utility pole! I'm impressed that he was even able to ... er... get there!

Anyway, doesn't this guy know about the benefits of binoculars in darkened hotel rooms adjacent to apartment complexes? It's a wee bit easier than climbing a pole! Errrrr... not that *I'd* ever do such a thing. I just saw it on TV once... ;-)

Sage offers some insight:

"About orgasming and standing up....

"Now, I'm male, but I have no problem standing up and orgasming. I think that it's very different for women, though. I think they undergo some kind of partial paralysis right after orgasm. A female orgasm, by accounts of it that I have read, seems to be generally more powerful and intense than a male one.

"One Japanese porn director said that women are partially paralysed right after orgasm.

"So, I see no difficulty with a man climbing up a power pole and then orgasming. In fact, it would be possible to do so while still clinging to the pole and not falling off, methinks."

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Follow-Ups Du Jour

First off:
Regarding yesterday's Morbid Fact (the woman dying during coitus and the guy not even realizing it until he finishes), HAL has an excellent reference:

"Dead... Dead? Your honor, I thought she was English!"

And secondly:
You may recall back on the MFDJ for November 2nd that Beth had submitted the touching morbid poem "The Worms Crawl In" as a Morbid Poem Du Jour. Well, I have had several people write me to say that the rendition quoted (from Miss Mary's Victorian Halloween website - http://www.victorianhalloween.com/oct/library/worms.shtml ) is different from the rendition they recall from childhood. He's a 1960's Minnesota Version from Paul:

Did you ever think, as a hearse went by,
That you might be the next to die?
They bury you down about six feet deep,
Until the coffin begins to leak ...

The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out.
The worms play pinochle in your snout.
They eat your eyes, they eat your nose,
They eat the jelly between your toes.
Your stomach turns a sickening green,
And juice comes out like whipping cream.
You scoop it out with a rusty spoon
And shovel it in your mouth.

Hmmmm... why do you suppose I never heard this as a child? I was hopelessly deprived... and possibly hopelessly depraved as well...

Carolyn adds a variation:

Here's another version of "The Worms Crawl In". Hope you enjoy it...

Did you ever think, when a hearse goes by,
One of these days you are going to die?
A grave yard is a lonely place,
They throw you in a hole and drop dirt on your face,
Everythings great for a week or two,
Then the water starts leaking through....

Then the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
They crawl through your stomach and out through your mouth,
They invite their friends, their relatives too,
Oh what a mess they will make of you!


Jorden offers another version:

Not quite the same version of the hearse song I heard as a kid...

Don't ever laugh as a hearse goes by,
for you may be the next to die.
They cover you with a big white sheet from
your head down to your feet.
They put you in a big black box and
cover you with dirt and rocks.
All goes well for about a week,
then your coffin begins to leak.

Worms crawl in and worms crawl out,
worms play piccinole on your snout.
A big green worm with rolling eyes,
crawls in your nose and out your eyes.
Your stomach turns a slimy green,
and pus pours out like whipping cream.
You put it on a slice of bread and,
that's what you eat when you are dead.


Richelle remembers it this way:

I hate to send yet another version of "the worms crawl in" but I think the way I remember it really is the best:

Don't you ever laugh when a hearse goes by
for you may be the next to die
The wrap you in a big white sheet
from your head down to your feet
the put you in a big black box
and cover you with dirt and rocks
All goes well for about a week,
then your coffin starts to leak.

The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out
the worms play pinochle in your snout.
they eat your eyes, they eat your nose
they eat the jelly between your toes
your belly turns a sickening green
and oozes out like whipping cream
you spread that on a piece of bread
and thats what you eat when you are dead!

See? Isn't that better? :)

*******

Dead Baby Joke Du Jour!

Because *everybody* loves them... right?

What's small, screams, and can't turn corners?
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A baby with a spear through it.

Thank you, Paul!


November 28, 2003

Today's Malodorous Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

On 10 July 2003, a man checked into the the Capri Motel, just east of downtown Kansas City, and began complaining about a foul odor in his room. Management told him nothing could be done about the problem, and he spent three nights in his room before checking out because he could no longer stand the smell. When the cleaning staff came in to make up the room on 13 July, they lifted the mattress and underneath found a man's body in an advanced stage of decomposition.

Culled from: Snopes.Com
http://snopes.com/horrors/gruesome/bodybed.htm
Generously submitted by: Leann

**********************************************************************

I suppose I have some explaining to do for my lengthy absence, don't I?

On the evening of Sunday, November 16th, my beloved mother passed away. She had been fighting cancer for months, and was very ill and weak, but her death (from heart failure) still came as a shock. (We had spent the day with her and it just never occurred to me that she was THAT sick.) Since that time, I have not had much energy or enthusiasm for my hobbies, as I'm sure you can imagine. Especially around these suddenly very empty holidays...

But I think I'm ready to get back to my old obsessions, at least on a part-time basis.

*******

Morbid Trinket Du Jour!

I have this awkward feeling that I never shared my latest morbid trinkets with you. How painfully rude of me!

I saw these wonderfully wicked wall plaques on Ebay and just could not resist them!

Star Craving Creations
http://www.starcraving.co.uk/

I had to get the Sun Of A Bitch:
http://mysite.freeserve.com/starcraving/pewtersun.htm

... and, my personal favorite, the Foul Moon:
http://mysite.freeserve.com/starcraving/pewtermoon.htm

... but I'm also planning on getting the Craven Cat as well:
http://mysite.freeserve.com/starcraving/pewtercat.htm

If you're interested in them, I strongly suggest trying Ebay first. I was able to save over $10.00 by going that route - just don't get into a bidding war with anyone because you'll find yourself zooming over the $64.95 (U.S. - including shipping) amount that they cost from the website. And wouldn't you feel like a sucker then? (They're constantly being relisted there too, so don't bum out if you get outbid on one... There will be more.)

http://www.stores.ebay.co.uk/starcravingcreations

*******

Morbid Link Du Jour!

Okay, you've probably already seen this because I am infamously behind the times, but the ever-thoughtful Fiona sent this Ghostly powerpoint presentation to me and I found it quite fascinating (although I still think it's mostly hooey). I thought you might enjoy it as well:

http://asylumeclectica.com/asylum/misc/Ghosts_1.pps

 

 



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