2004 ARCHIVE

Disclaimer: I in no way vouch for the authenticity of any of these stories. If people's lives are so dull that they want to lie about these things, I can't really stop them... but feel free to call them on it.
In other words, please don't lie... or you'll probably be exposed in the end and won't you feel stupid then???


"My Brush With Morbidity" by Vern

"During the latter part of the 1950's I worked around the waterfront of Sydney Harbour (only the prettiest and most beautiful harbour in the world), and had fairly good connections with the other harbour workers including the Water Police. I was told about a new officer recently transferred from 'normal' police duties to the Water Police. Now, they have a special punt for recovering bodies. This is normally towed behind the police launch. They received a report of a 'floater' out near the entrance to the harbour. With the new officer accompanying the regulars they went out and located the body. The newcomer didn't know the procedure where the boat would drift past the body, a 'volunteer' would go into the punt, and raise the body with a large roll of canvas. So, this new fellow, trying his best to be of help, grabbed the arm of the body as the boat drifted past. That's just what he got - the arm. He turned as green as the water."

I bet. See, this is why MFDJ is a valuable public service. Surely, none of you would do something as silly as try to pick up a floater by one arm? :)

Posted 07.08.04



"My Friend's Younger Brother's Brush With Morbidity" by Kate

"[This]... happened to my friend's younger brother. He had been staying with his friends in this house for a while, until he ran out of cash, and then he moved back home. (He was about 18.) He had to get something he had forgotten in the friends' house, and so he went back to it, but the door was locked, and no one answered the bell. He decided to just go ahead and climb in the broken window into his friend's (let's call him Eric) room, because that's what they all did if they forgot their keys.

"He climbed in the window, landed on the bed, and discovered he was laying next to a dead girl. Apparently she had been there for a bit as she was kind of swollen and unattractive. He got out of the room, and called the police. The police showed up and got the body out of the room (after a whole lot of trouble for "why are you here? where's your key?" kind of stuff).

"He was kind of shaken up over the whole thing and upset. Waited for the other guy to come back, and to find Eric. Turns out that Eric was dead in the garage, and no one knew it. When the friend got there, they discovered that Eric had gone ahead and killed his girlfriend (it was strangulation) and then went and gassed himself in his car. No one knew that he had done it, because no one had really been checking up on him. Apparently the girl had been dead for a few days, and Eric had been living in the room with her until he finally couldn't stand it anymore and killed himself.

"Needless to say, they called the police back to report Eric's death. Made for an interesting day! My friend's brother called him the evening it happened and asked to borrow a gun to keep in his house because he was convinced the ghosts would be after him."

Now, that's what I call a brush (quite literally) with morbidity!! Thank you, Kate.

Posted 06.26.04


"My Brush With Morbidity" by Narkitten

"I deliver meals to homebound elderly. Many times over the years at this job I had come close but hadn't found a deceased client. Finally I was making a delivery after a Memorial Day weekend. Because of the condition of most of my clients, I have a habit of knocking on the door and entering, announcing myself. I took one look and knew this guy was gone. He had been sitting there long enough that the blood had drained from his upper body into his legs and lower belly. What made it worse was that this gentleman had a breathing problem and used oxygen assistance. The machine was still running, giving the illusion that the body still breathed. The only phone was right by the body, so I tried to use it to call for assistance. It was broken and missing several numbers. I had the creeps so bad by now I went to the nearest business to call. Didn't even stop at a neighbor's. The post office was within walking distance, so ended up there. After the EMTs arrived it occurred to me that the full case of beer sitting by this guy's chair was looking awfully good. I couldn't wait to get out of there."

Which begs the question... why, exactly, was the beer looking good? Did the head remind you of the froth coming from the man's mouth? Am I seriously demented because that was the first thing I thought?

Probably...

Posted 06.24.04

"My Brush(es) With Morbidity" by KA

"About 5 years ago, my mother was driving me to school. As we turned onto Broad Street, we witnessed an incredible accident. A huge conversion van (you know, with TV's inside and seating for 8 and a bed an all that) rear-ended a tiny little Honda del Sol (a flimsy 2 seater). The speed limit on Broad is 45 in that stretch, and the van was going about that or faster, while the Honda was at a complete stop. Needless to say, the driver of the Honda was ejected from the car and flew up into the air before landing in a heap on the pavement. It was the strangest thing I ever saw. Not really that gross, just strange.

"Another little brush that may or may not be morbid: When I was about 10 or so, the amusement park 'Geagua Lake' (which has now been turned into a Six Flags) opened up a new ride. It was called the 'Texas Twister' and it was basically 2 long benches, 1 in front of the other, that were suspended by big supports on either end. The benches would rise into the air, and then flip over and go around a few times. Well, somebody must not have fastened their seatbelt or something because as my friend and I stood there watching it, a man fell right out onto the ground. Not sure if he died, but I sure know he wasn't moving. Very interesting, and they shut the ride down for a week after that."

By the way, I thought I'd mention that I thought I'd actually have a brush with morbidity of my OWN to share with you yesterday. I went out to get in my car and I looked over at a truck a few spaces down from me and saw an old man dressed in a suit laying motionless with his head against the window and his mouth agape. Immediately I thought he could either be dead, unconscious, or sleeping... so I wandered over to him very quietly and looked for any sign of rigor mortis or breathing (whichever came first). I noticed his chest was moving so he was indeed breathing. Death was eliminated as a possibility. So then I thought he could either be unconscious or asleep. So, I said, "Excuse me, sir" and roused him from his slumber. I apologized, though he did thank me for checking on him, and wandered back to my car. This is the story of my life when it comes to the morbid - close but no coffin.

Posted 05.09.04

My Brush With Morbidity by Kuhar

"While living in Manhattan I had occasion to see a variety of rather morbid sights. One was within weeks of my move there. An elderly woman had been hit by a transit bus. Well, not so much hit: as it was approaching the bus stop and slowing down, the front bumper caught hold of her right torso and opened her up like a can-opener... There were some undentifiable organs that had spilled onto the street from her opened side... sort of like a broken pinata lying on the ground."

Now, this one is really sad. Poor lady... One minute you're on your way to Bingo, the next you're spilling your candy all over the road...

Posted 03.10.04

My Brush With Morbidity by Traci

"On Memorial Day Weekend I persuaded my boyfriend to go to the outlet mall about 30 minutes south of Austin... On the way
back home (northbound on a major 3-lane highway) traffic began to slow, and as we crested a small rise I could see in the distance that oncoming traffic (southbound) had been diverted onto the access road. 'Great,' I thought, 'day one of a three-day weekend and there's already an accident.'

"Since the exit was approaching, I decided to go ahead and ride the access road for the mile or so it would take. A bit further on, the access road went uphill as the highway proper went downhill. It was on this rise that the access road came about even with the accident.

"Because I was uphill of the accident, and there was no traffic blocking my view, I saw quite a bit more than I bargained for. The SUV was by itself, facing south, roughly in the middle of the 3 lanes. The driver's door was sitting open. All around the site, and for many miles around, sheets of paper were floating and resting on the asphalt and grass. As we passed the vehicle itself, I got a fleeting glimpse of legs and a person sitting sideways in the driver's seat. I assumed at first that it was a man and I said aloud, "I wonder why they haven't put the guy in an ambulance. OH! That's why." Which of course engendered immediate curiosity in my 3 year old. We changed the subject and drove on. The person's head was covered with a short white sheet or towel that was soaked in blood. The lap was covered in blood and gore and it trickled down to pool on the pavement.

"The (as we later discovered) woman was a teacher and had taken home papers to grade over the long weekend."

Now, that's a great bit of strategic driving! Of course, I'm never that lucky... I always show up when the body has long been removed and is already cold in the morgue, and the tow truck is just starting to pull away from the scene. Such a pity...

Posted 03.08.04


"My Brush With Morbidity" by RockyGotFingered

"My brush with morbidity takes me back to when I was around 12. My father knew a man who suffered from epilepsy, whose name was Bob, and at times would have seizers. He would stop by normally once or twice a week. But after a month without seeing him, my dad got worried and went to his apartment. I had nothing else to do, so I ventured along, just to see what was wrong. We went up to his apartment and all and got to the door. The smell was so malodorous that it made BOTH of us gag. As my dad beat on the door, I looked in the window ... and what I saw haunted me - a human leg sprawed across a bed. My dad noticed the same thing, and we went home to call the police. It turns out that he was beaten by a local police officer, who ran the apartment building. My dad, who is a private investigator, interviewed the officer, and noticed that a gun rack, television, and a few other odds and ends that were once found in Bob's apartment supiciously appear in the officer's apartment."

Posted 02.25.04

"My Brush With Morbidity" by Carol

"A chilling incident involved an auto accident on my way back from work after a late shift. My coworker was driving back to the city from the rurally located institution, when a car came out of nowhere, and somehow hit our car twice, spinning it completely around, then hurled off the embankment. My friend was in shock, but I was able to run down the embankment to see if I could offer any assistance to whomever was in the other car. Well, only the driver was in the car, and one look and I knew I could be of no assistance. His body was still in the driver's seat, his head on the hood, face up, blood was still spurting from the body. How lucky I had my nurse's flash light, I got a great view. <shudder> I still haven't gotten that picture out of my mind. Turns out it was the guy's birthday, and he had been drinking since early that morning, probably passed out behind the wheel. I would NEVER drink and drive!"

Especially not after seeing that sight, eh Carol?

Posted 01.06.04





Brushes With Morbidity...